I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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