i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
