i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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