yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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