It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
