Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
