Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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