If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
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