So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
