You can't special order awesome
Banned from zoo.
Again?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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