So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Randomize
