4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
