def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
