i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
