You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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