I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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