Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
