On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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