Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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