Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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