You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
