I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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