We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
