If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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