i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My penis needs a shock collar
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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