i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I love having hate sex.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
