Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
