whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
