Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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