Cold hands, warm shart.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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