Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
