he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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