the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
