yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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