trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
