It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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