i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
