that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
