She announced her abortion via fbk
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
