Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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