she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
