I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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