It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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