Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
