I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can I color on your dick again?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
