Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
