i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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