11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I love black thongs
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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