at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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