Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
